Ramblings of a perverted corporate slave

Why one woman identifies with the midlife crisis man

2006-06-07T00:43:00.001+08:00

by Nicolette Beard

I experienced my own mid-life crisis at 33 and for the next 15 years transitioned from entrepreneur to college student to helpmate and homemaker to entrepreneur to unemployed to employed to unemployed to commissioned sales to employed to unemployed to NOW. Quite a circuitous route!

Yes a plan helps, but sometimes meeting our future takes a leap of faith. I started a blog as a leap of faith, and I wanted a career change. Did I know for a fact that there were thousands of men who might benefit from my experience in the trenches? No, but my senses told me that many men wished that they were better understood. Men often are misunderstood, lack support for their decisions, and go unnoticed for their contributions to family and community.

When I "retired" from the advertising world, I remembered thinking, "Now I know why men die after they retire." I lost my moorings. Even though closing my business was a conscious decision, I was so identified with a fast-paced, competitive world that I lost my sense of self.
Five years later, I launched a small-press publishing company and thought that I had finally found my calling. That venture aborted just on the cusp of major national exposure. It took me four years and a mental breakdown to recover.

But sometimes what we perceive to be a "breakdown" is really a "breakthrough."

What I've learned is that we can't control anything. I can't control a thing.

Think for a moment about Chinese handcuffs; the harder you pull, the stronger they bind you. The same is true with the mental and emotional confusion wrought from a breakdown. When we try to control our life, we will continue to muddle along. Instead, consider the possibility that by adapting to a new and changing reality, clarity and direction are yours for the asking.

The harder I pulled those handcuffs, the tighter they bound me to the old form. I couldn't let go, until my life circumstances forced me to.

Men don't have it easy in this world. Protecting and providing for your family, day in and day out, doesn't garner much media attention. How do you protect your family from the unseen? How do you provide when the "old" economy reneges on its promises? Or steals your financial future?

Are you stressing and grinding out each day with no end in sight?

I know how you feel I (I'd been whipsawed by the gyrations of the auto industry.) I've felt that way myself (the never-ending anxieties of a mother.) And I've found that holding on doesn't work. Today is the only day we have. I spent all that energy and emotion lamenting my fate, but I can't say that it was wasted.

I came to realize that things happen in their own time. Lao-Tzu wrote, "Waiting is not empty hoping." There is such a thing as timing. I needed to acquire more emotional tools and mental weapons to be prepared for unforeseen battles.

I forgot who I was for a while, but I never stopped striving and readying myself.

A day comes in every seeker's life called the "dark night of the soul." We cannot measure how long that day will last. Eventfully you emerge, and can say with confidence and clarity: I know who I am! That knowledge gives you the courage to act.

Let that be your anchor, not the "shoulds" of society or the expectation of others. Provide for and protect your family to the best of your ability. That's all that's required.

Article courtesy of Nicolette Beard, a former editor, publisher and advertising executive.

My two cents:
As a man experiencing his first year of midlife crisis, I find the article both inspiring and scary.

Signs you have a great job ... or not

2006-06-05T00:29:00.000+08:00

Workplace experts Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman have identified several criteria that you can use to measure whether your job is wonderful or not.

1. Do I know what's expected of me at work?

2. Do I have the materials and equipment I need to do my work right?

3. At work, do I have the opportunity to do what I do best every day?

4. In the last 7 days, have I received recognition or praise for doing good work?

5. Does my supervisor, or someone at work, seem to care about me as a person?

6. Is there someone at work who encourages my development?

7. At work, do my opinions seem to count?

8. Does the mission/purpose of my company make me feel my job is important?

9. Are my co-workers committed to doing quality work?

10. Do I have a best friend at work?

11. In the last six months, has someone at work talked to me about my progress?

12. This last year, have I had opportunities at work to learn and to grow?

CNNMoney.com senior writer Jeanne Sahadi asked Coffman what percentage of companies he thinks actually pass the 12-question test. His estimate: No more than 15 percent. But within a company, he said, individual departments may meet the test, even if the company overall doesn't.

Satisfaction with pay and benefits didn't make the list not because they're not important, he said, but because they're important to all employees, whether they're engaged in their work or not.

Read the full article here.

So, do I have a great job? Hahahaha. I'll be the worst liar in the world if I say "yes".

5 ways to start a company (without quitting your day job)

2006-06-02T00:21:00.000+08:00

Almost everyone stuck in a cubicle dreams of starting his own business. That includes me. So why don't you?

Maybe it's because you're afraid to give up that steady paycheck. Perhaps you're simply terrified by the thought of placing yourself at the mercy of greedy investors, cutthroat competitors, and a potentially indifferent marketplace. Whatever the reason, it's clear that there's a lot of unrequited entrepreneurial longing out there.

Fret not. Business 2.0 Magazine editor-at-large Erick Schonfeld pointed out that:

Working for a corporation affords access to several things that are vital to a fledgling company: money, customers, market research, personnel. And it turns out that many former wage earners have successfully exploited these resources - legally, and in some cases with the assistance of their employers - to realize their entrepreneurial dreams. Some actually built their startups while working for someone else, while others simply tapped previous employers' people and cachet.

All of them, however, learned to look at salaried life as a springboard rather than a prison.

Here are five ways to use your current gig to launch a new venture:

1. Use Your Salary as Funding
2. Turn Common Complaints Into a Business Plan
3. Make Your Boss a Beta Tester
4. Take Advantage of Your Company's Reputation
5. Convert Your Employer Into a Business Partner

Read the full article here.

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Blogbite: Light blogging ahead
I will be updating this blog less frequently in the coming months. Already started a very small business with my partner and is in the process of setting up another one. I practise what I preach :) But things are certainly not easy. Too little time, way too much to do and learn.

Southeast Asians don’t get enough sex: Survey

2006-05-31T00:20:00.000+08:00

Southeast Asian couples make love less frequently and are less satisfied with their sex lives than people in other parts of the world, AFP reported, quoting results of a global survey.

French people have sex most frequently while Mexicans are the happiest couples at bed, according to the survey commissioned by drug giant Pfizer, maker of the anti-impotence drug Viagra.

The survey of almost 13,000 people across 27 countries revealed the global sex frequency average to be 6.5 times a month, with 50 percent of those surveyed saying they were very satisfied with their sex lives.

Southeast Asian couples fell below the benchmark levels, with Indonesia coming closest to the global sex frequency average at 5.75 times per month.

Singapore was at 4.55 times per month, Thailand at 4.30 and Hong Kong at 3.55.

There was no direct connection between frequency of sex and satisfaction.

Malaysians, who scored a low frequency average of 3.50 times per month, came out the happiest among the Southeast Asian countries surveyed with 42 percent saying they were very satisfied with their sex lives.

Indonesia tied with Hong Kong on the unhappiness front, with only 27 percent surveyed saying they were very satisfied.Thailand and Singapore were also below the global satisfaction averageat 32 percent and 38 percent respectively.

South Korea fared much worst, with only eight percent saying they were very satisfied with their sex lives. Increased stress levels caused by economic prosperity and modern Asian lifestyles, including unhealthy eating and drinking habits, contributed to poorer sex performance, said Peter Lim, a senior urologist.

"They (executives) are all stressed out and that contributes a lot to apoorer performance in the bedroom," said Lim, an erectile dysfunction expert with a local hospital who was invited by Pfizer to comment on the survey results.
"The second reason is the pace of life, the drinking, eating, smoking has caught on," Lim said.
Urbanized Hong Kong was similar to Singapore in terms of stress affecting bedroom performance, he said.

However, in developing nations like Thailand and more relaxed areas of Asia like Penang and Malacca, men's failure to have an erection was the main reason for poorer sex performance.

Globally, the French had the most sex at 7.7 times a month, followed by Germany at 6.45 and the United Kingdom at 6.40. Mexicans scored the highest sex satisfaction levels with 74.5 percent declaring they were very satisfied, followed by Brazil at 64.5 percent and Spain at 56.6 percent.

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Blogbite: Blowing hot and cold
It's either too warm or too cold in my workplace. Right now, it's freezing. It's high time da big bosses sack that thug of a maintenance "manager". He could always find a new job that doesn't require regulating temperature ... such as maintaining toilets.

A Singapore girl tells why she prefers foreign men

2006-05-23T20:39:00.000+08:00

I blogged that "Singapore girls dig foreigners" in both my blogspot and wordpress blogs more than a month ago. I checked my abandoned wordpress blog yesterday and found an interesting comment from "t-b" about why Singaporean girls like foreign men:

I have had both my share of Singaporean and non-Singaporean boyfirends. I was studying engineering, one of 3 girls in a class of 22. And I came up with a few reasons why foreign men are more popular with local girls:

1. Foreign men don’t live with their parents (in HDB flats).

2. Foreign men are generally better talkers, more open-minded and when they see a good looking chick, they say “Wow! She’s hot/sexy” NOT “Chio-bu Sial”.

3. When you have casual sex with them, they don’t call you cheap. Sex is sex and they are (mostly) honest of what they want. It is something 2 people enjoy. And yes, they are more experienced or experimental because they don’t spend their youth jerking off to illegal porn DVDs bought from JB.

4. They appreciate women of various sizes. Singaporean men, especially Chinese men, like the Changi Airport/toothpick variety. Local men can be very catty when it comes down to a woman’s figure.

5. They don’t talk down/bad or tease you like calling you “the new Annabel Chong” just because you like sex. It seems that in the Singapore society, it is okay for men to enjoy sex, but if a woman does it as well or is capable of celebrating her own sexuality, the call her “slut”. Therefore, I came to the conclusion that Singaporean men are intimidated by sexually empowered women.

6. They open doors and hold it for you instead of opening a crack to let themselves through. No wonder Singapore has so many automatic sliding doors!

I have more points to share. However, I know it is easier to just point fingers at each other, but case in point, Singaporean men need to behave more like men and this doesn’t mean getting a penis extension in Bangkok. Stop whining about how shallow SPGs are. Do a little bit of self reflection. The more you whine the more annoying it is.

In response to a quote from my Singaporean friend that "I think it's not Singapore men having problems. It is Singapore women obsessed with foreign men. Case in point, u guys go on MIRC and pretend u are from overseas. Observe the different response from the Singapore chicks", she wrote:

As for whoever claimed to attract more girls by pretending to a foreigner, I am sure while doing so you were behaving like a foreginer without the usual crassness of a Singapore man…

I'm not a Singaporean (although my dad, whom I'm not at all fond of, was born in that city-state) so I'm not sure I should respond but here are my two cents:

1. Of course, women find independent men more attractive. And having your own digs means freedom and a convenient place to bonk. Tough luck on guys who can't afford to buy or at least rent a place.

2. Can't dispute that. Speaking up is part of their upbringing and culture. In Asia, a kid sometimes gets beaten up if he dares to argue with his parents. And Malaysian/Singaporean society tends to be conservative.

3 and 5.. Can't speak for Singaporean men, but I never call a woman cheap or slut.I love open-minded women. But what's wrong with a little teasing?

4. Foreign men (if by foreign you mean caucasian) "appreciate women of all sizes" because at least 60% of their women are obese or big-boned. The average young Malaysians and Singaporeans are not. So I'll say foreign men are used to - not appreciative of - women of all sizes.

6. Haha, a very witty comment. I do open doors for friends and strangers. A few are gracious enough to thank me. Most walked through without comment, and I don't mind that. But a few sniffed and looked at me as if I'm a bellboy.

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LoveBite:
A bunch of female professionals who described themselves as "pretty" and "decent" are advertising for a "nice" and "cool" male stripper for a birthday party this July. They said the price is subject to the candidate's "abilities". I wonder if it's just physique and dancing ability ... or also "riding" ability?

A balanced checkbook? Now that’s sexy

2006-05-22T19:48:00.000+08:00

When it comes to finding lasting love, financial responsibility beats out hot sex, at least according to a survey commissioned by credit scoring company Fair Isaac.

The survey of 1,022 American adults, conducted by Opinion Research Group, asked what two personal traits were most important to a long-term relationship. The answers:

Faithfulness and honesty came out first and second, selected by 53% and 52% of the respondents, respectively.

Financial responsibility was third, selected by 22% of the respondents.

A sense of humor was No. 4 (18%).

Sexual compatibility came in fifth, selected by just 10% of the respondents. Erotic harmony was more important to men than women - 12% of males cited it, compared with 8% of females - but it still ranked last with both sexes.

Respondents were asked, "Which two of the following five personal traits do you consider more important than the others in sustaining your relationships with a husband, wife or significant other?"

You might expect that a financial concern like Fair Isaac - which came up with the three-digit credit-scoring formula most lenders use to evaluate creditworthiness - would value fiscal sobriety. But a spokesman for the company said they weren't expecting so much of the public to share their view.

"I definitely didn't expect people to say their mate's financial responsibility was more important than sexual compatibility for sustaining relationships," Fair Isaac spokesman Craig Watts said.

"That's not something that the daytime soaps want to hear!"

Read the full article in MSN Money. There'll be more posts on personal finance in the future.

Some people may scoff and say: "Who are you to blog about money or financial responsibility? You are just a crude fellow with dick for brains!"

It's true that I obsess about the fairer sex. But I also happen to be debt-free when many people between the ages of 18 to 40 are drowning in debts. That makes me somewhat financially responsible, no? I'm often touted as a prime candidate for long term relationships. Bah, why can't I be touted as the numero ono candidate for long, short, medium and one night relationships?

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InfoBite:
Stock markets in Asia took a tumble today. Is it a sign of darker days ahead?

Why e-mails are so easily misunderstood

2006-05-21T23:41:00.000+08:00

In a world where businesses and friends often depend upon e-mail to communicate, scholars want to know if electronic communications convey ideas clearly. The answer, the professors told the Christian Science Monitor, is sometimes "no".

Though e-mail is a powerful and convenient medium, researchers have identified three major problems.

First and foremost, e-mail lacks cues like facial expression and tone of voice. That makes it difficult for recipients to decode meaning well.

Second, the prospect of instantaneous communication creates an urgency that pressures e-mailers to think and write quickly, which can lead to carelessness.

Finally, the inability to develop personal rapport over e-mail makes relationships fragile in the face of conflict.

In effect, e-mail cannot adequately convey emotion. A recent study by Profs. Justin Kruger of New York University and Nicholas Epley of the University of Chicago focused on how well sarcasm is detected in electronic messages. Their conclusion: Not only do e-mail senders overestimate their ability to communicate feelings, but e-mail recipients also overestimate their ability to correctly decode those feelings.

One reason for this, the business-school professors say, is that people are egocentric. They assume others experience stimuli the same way they do. Also, e-mail lacks body language, tone of voice, and other cues - making it difficult to interpret emotion.

The brevity of e-mail and the absence of audiovisual cues can endanger business and personal relationships unless e-mail is supplemented with the rapport that comes from more personal communication.

"Rapport creates a buffer of positive regard," says Professor Michael Morris, "and when it's not there negotiation becomes brittle, vulnerable to falling apart".

Morris, who studies negotiation at Columbia, led a study that found that negotiators exchange more than three times the information in face-to-face interactions as they do via e-mail.

Though Morris and his colleagues concluded that e-mail lets negotiators make "more complex, multiple-issue offers," they ultimately built less rapport, thereby increasing tensions and lowering the average economic value of the agreements.

Rapport "is an interpersonal resonance of emotional expression," Morris says, "involving synchronous gesture, laughing, and smiling together. Once this rapport exists, it's a buffer against a moment in the negotiation when there's some friction."

This buffer is hard to develop without speaking over the phone or in person. Those who negotiated by e-mail in Morris's study trusted each other less and weren't as interested in working together again.

I have to agree with the findings of the study. For the past two months, I have been negotiating and hammering out a business plan with a potential partner via e-mail. Why e-mail?

1. We live far apart, although we are both in the Klang Valley.
2. Different working hours. One of us work evening shift.
3. I thought e-mail negotiations are more rational. She is a people person, I'm a computer-loving geek ... My logic is that I can think more clearly and get a better deal negotiating on my turf.

I will not go into details in this post, but I ended up distrusting her and our "partnership" is in danger of falling apart.

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On a lighter note, I'm introducing LoveBites, InfoBites and BlogBites - mini postings on girls & sex, useful information and miscellaneous stuff respectively - inspired by Kenny Sia's "shorttalk" and angel's "do-you-know".

LoveBite: Standing up for a Sarawakian bad girl
Sarawak is home to some of the wildest bloggers in all of Bolehland. Ing Hui is a prime example. See photos of this 21-year-old Miri lass swapping spit with her girlfriends. See her and her friends holding on to their mamaries. See a cheeky attempt to breastfeed a friend. See many many pictures of her cleavage. Salivate as you watch a video of her faking an orgasm. Now excuse me while I rush to the bathroom.

Future of Humanity

2006-05-19T01:12:00.000+08:00

MSNBC has a very interesting feature on what humans and their heirs might look like hundreds of thousands of years from now. There's the Unihuman (very big eyes), Survivalistian (looks like mutants) , Numan (very high foreheads), Cyborg and Astran (looks like the aliens from some TV series). I'm a bit pressed for time, so check it out yourself. Have a good weekend!

Internet addiction can harm lives, marriages

2006-05-18T00:07:00.000+08:00

While not yet defined as a true addiction, many people are suffering the consequences of obsession with the online world, Reuters reported, quoting Dr Diane M.Wieland, who treats patients with computer addiction in her practice in Lansdale, Pennsylvania.

For some people, the Internet may promote addictive behaviors and pseudo-intimate interpersonal relationships, reports Wieland in the journal Perspectives in Psychiatric Care.

“Such cyberspace contacts may result in cyber disorders such as virtual relationships that evolve into online marital infidelity (cybersex) or online sexually compulsive behaviors," she writes.

“Obsession with and craving time on the computer results in neglect of real-life personal relationships to the point of divorce,” Wieland says.

The prevalence of Internet addiction is hard to gauge at the moment, she notes.

Extrapolating from prevalence rates of other addictions, she thinks that 5% to 10% of Internet users will most likely experience addiction.

Signs and symptoms of Internet addiction include a general disregard for health and appearance; sleep deprivation due to spending so much time online; and decreased physical activity and social interaction with others.

Dry eyes, carpal tunnel syndrome, and repetitive motion injuries of the hands and fingers are common.

Internet addicts may also get the “cyber shakes” when off line, exhibiting agitation and typing motions of the fingers when not at the computer.

Many Internet addicts have a history of depression, alcohol or drug abuse, and anxiety disorder, according to Wieland, who is an associate professor at the La Salle University School of Nursing.

“Denial is strong in Internet addicts who claim they cannot be addicted to a machine,” Wieland notes.

The “one more minute“ response to being asked to go offline is common and is similar to an alcoholic who says they will quit drinking after “one more drink.”

People who suspectthey or a loved one might be an Internet addict, Wieland says, can find out by taking a screening test outlined in the book Caught in the Net -How to Recognize the Signs of Internet Addiction and a Winning Strategy for Recovery, authored by Kimberly S. Young.

Cognitive behavioral therapies, often combined with psychotherapy and medications such as anti depressants are used to treat Internet addiction.

My two cents: I suspect I have a mild case of Internet addiction. I spend 4-5 hours online daily (mostly while at work). While I don't suffer from injuries or "cyber shakes", I feel like I'm going crazy whenever the Internet line is down. I'm call Telekom and yell: "Give me my love back! Please? Double please? I want my precious ..."

The Da Vinci Code secret is out - the critics hate it

2006-05-17T23:56:00.000+08:00

Critics panned The Da Vinci Code on Wednesday ahead of the world premiere of the year’s most eagerly awaited movie, according to a Reuters report.

Opening the annual Cannes film festival, Ron Howard’s adaptation of the Dan Brown bestseller was described variously as “grim“, “unwieldy” and“plodding”.

At a screening late on Tuesday in Cannes, members of the audience laughed at the thriller’s pivotal moment, and the end of the US$125 million picture was greeted with stony silence.

Trade publication Variety had barely a nice word to say.

“A pulpy page-turner in its original incarnation as a huge international bestseller has become a stodgy, grim thing in the exceedingly literal-minded film version of The Da Vinci Code,“ wrote Todd McCarthy.

Lee Marshall of Screen International agreed.“I haven’t read the book, but I just thought there was a ridiculousamount of exposition,” he told Reuters.

“I thought it was plodding and there was a complete lack of chemistry between Audrey Tautou and Tom Hanks.”

While critics argue the controversy surrounding the film, and the fact that more than 40 million people have bought the book, will ensure astrong box office performance, word-of-mouth is likely to hit sales later on.

The movie industry will be watching The Da Vinci Code particularly closely after the first two summer blockbusters - Mission: Impossible III and Poseidon - failed to find the Hollywood Grail of box office success.

My two cents: No matter how bad the reviews are, the controversy will ensure that many people go watch the movie. No way this film is going to lose money.

Reading 'Da Vinci Code' does alter beliefs

2006-05-17T00:17:00.000+08:00

“The Da Vinci Code” has undermined faith in the Roman Catholic Church and badly damaged its credibility, Reuters reported, citing a survey of British readers of Dan Brown’s bestseller.

People are now twice as likely to believe Jesus Christ fathered children after reading the Dan Brown blockbuster and four times as likely to think the conservative Catholic group Opus Dei is a murderous sect.

“An alarming number of people take its spurious claims very seriously indeed,” said Austin Ivereigh, press secretary to Britain’s top Catholic prelate Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O’Connor.

“Our poll shows that for many, many people the Da Vinci Code is not just entertainment,” Ivereigh added.

He heads a prominent group of English Roman Catholic monks, theologians, nuns and members of Opus Dei, who commissioned the survey from leading pollster Opinion Research Business (ORB) and have sought to promote Catholic beliefs at a time when the film’s release has provoked a storm of controversy.

ORB interviewed more than 1,000 adults last weekend, finding that 60% believed Jesus had children by Mary Magdalene - a possibility raised by the book - compared with just 30% of those who had not read the book.

The English group demanded that the “Da Vinci Code” movie, being given its world premiere at the Cannes Film festival on Wednesday, should carry a “health warning”.

The novel, which has sold over 40 million copies, also depicts Opus Dei as a ruthless Machiavellian organisation whose members resort to murder to keep the Church’s secrets.

The survey underlined the astonishing popularity of Brown’s novel - it has been read by more than one in five adults of all ages in Britain.

In the survey, readers were asked if Opus Dei had ever carried out a murder. Seventeen percent of readers believe it had, compared with just 4% of non-readers.

Yeah, I'm jumping on the 'Da Vinci' bandwagon :) Personally, I think the Vatican and various Catholic groups overreacted. The protests and calls to ban, censor and even sue convinced some people - rightly or wrongly - that the Church have something to hide.

Hapless mugger pleads for bus fare home

2006-05-16T23:33:00.000+08:00

A knife-wielding mugger in Germany was reduced to pleading with a pensioner for his bus fare home after she refused to hand over her purse, according to a Reuters report.

With his woolly hat pulled down and the neck of his sweater covering his nose and mouth, the youth pulled a 25cm blade on the woman in the seaside town of Binz and threatened to stab her unless she handed over her bag, police said.

She refused.“Then he tried to invoke her pity,” a police spokeswoman said.

“He said ‘at least give me five euros ($6.40) for the bus ride home’.

But she just walked off and left him standing.”

Police believed the youth, aged about 16, was probably a novice as his threats were delivered in the polite form of “you“ in German - “Sie”.

I'm sure most of us have have been approached by people asking money for "bus fares" to their "hometown".

I'm sure some of us have been robbed. I was once robbed of RM400 by half a dozen punks with a pistol. Hope the assholes die of AIDS.

Memories of secondary school

2006-05-16T21:27:00.000+08:00

I feel a bit nostalgic reading the blog of an elderly woman recounting how she fell in lust at the ripe old age of 13. Curiously enough, she called the object of her affection Ah Beh (horsey) and I was thinking "WTF, he must be a stallion in bed". But then, any dude must be "gifted" in the eyes of a virgin, no?

Ages ago, I went to an all-boys school that happens to be near an all-girls school. A popular meeting place is the the McDonald's that sits half way between the schools. I must say I had fun during those relatively innocent days. The not-yet-legal girls will do outrageous things to impress the boys, and vice versa.

During those times, the last page of the Form One textbook has graphics showing how the male and female reproduction systems function. When the girls saw guys coming, they will turn to that page and start discussing "the topic" loudly. Go figure.

One particular incident that remains cystal clear on my mind is when a girl (who happens to be my neighbourt) gives a blowjob to a banana right in front of 10 guys.

Ah, those were the days. *wipes away tears of nostalgia* These days, when this dirty old man wants an eyeful of secondary school girls, he poses as a begger outside Assunta Girls' School.

Some things never change. Those fresh young things still try to attract the attention of every guy that pases their way ... even a sorry-looking fella old enough to be their father.

For those readers with daughters or sisters, please note that I will never lay a hand on anyone who is below legal age. So there's no need to stand guard 24 hours outside Assunta.

Things heat up in the office

2006-05-15T23:25:00.000+08:00

Today was a memorable day in office. A fat, bald, middle-aged man walked around in his singlet, occasionally doing obscene little twirls, while quite a few women moaned "it's so hot". Hell, a few of the guys groaned and sighed too.
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Got your attention?
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Is it Orgy Day in the office or something?
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No, you perverts. It's Hell In Da Office today. The bloody air-con broke down. The antiqued equipment in the office breaks down every other day. No wonder we are all miserable.

A guy did strip to his singlet. Maybe the heat made him feverish as he was walking around in circles. *He even winked at me* It's a shame none of the ladies took off more than their jackets.

I did not feel so good myself. Must be my advancing age. Maybe lack of exercise too. Aiyoh, the last time I jogged was back in my hometown during Chinese New Year. Maybe I should join a gym or something. Need to do some research to find the gyms with the prettiest, youngest, most open-minded ladies. (It's a fact that most guys join gyms to look at the eye candy. Heck, guys even go to church for the eye candy!)

The Irish are lonely, S'poreans search for happiness

2006-05-15T23:08:00.000+08:00

Ireland may be enjoying stellar economic growth and seen as one of the best places in the world to live, but its inhabitants are apparently also the globe’s loneliest, Reuters reported.

Google Trends, which works out how many searches have been done via the Internet search engine on particular terms, showed the word “lonely” was entered most frequently by Internet users in Ireland.

The Irish, enjoying new-found wealth and a flood of immigration following more than a century of economic decline, are followed in the misery stakes by residents of Singapore and New Zealand - although Singaporeans are the most frequent searchers of “happiness”.

Google Trends calculates the ratio of searches for a given term coming from each city, region or language divided by total Google searches coming from the same area. Ireland’s capital, Dublin, topped the city list for “lonely" searches, followed by Melbourne, Australia and Auckland, New Zealand.

In 2004, the Economist magazine named Ireland the best place to live in the world in a “quality of life” assessment.

As someone who knows a few Singaporeans, I'm not at all surprised that they are miserable. They are a emotionally-repressed bunch. Add to that the kiasu and kiasi (scared to lose, scared to die) mentality. Voila! the recipe for misery.

I wonder what the search results are for Malaysia. No doubt sex-related words will be high on the list. Do you know that Malaysians are among the most active participants of sex forums in the world?

Matchmakers and temporary marriages

2006-05-14T22:56:00.000+08:00

Professional matchmakers in Saudi Arabia have boosted their business by 60% following the legalization of misyar, a temporary marriage without obligations, according to dpa.

The Saudi newspaper Arab News said one reason why people resort to such secret but legal options is to avoid family responsibilities and others such as housing a woman and rearing her children.

The paper said misyar has grown in popularity in the business community, among educated people and among women with private income as well as with the poor.

The increasing number of unmarried women is why such marriages have become more acceptable, said the paper.

A matchmaker quoted by the paper said this kind of marriage is popular because it needs only a room in a hotel or a rented apartment for a few hours or days.

If temporary marriages are legal in Malaysia, I'll be the first to sign up! All the fun, none of the responsibilities ... what more could a man ask for? *ducks rotten eggs*

Women attracted to men who like children

2006-05-10T22:47:00.001+08:00

A glance is enough for a woman’s subconscious “radar” to detect a man’s suitability as a mate, AFP reported, quoting research published on Wednesday in a British science journal.

Women find men with high testosterone levels and masculine faces attractive but see them as short-term prospects, while men with an interest in children had long-term prospects as potential husbands.

However, this was separate from women’s appreciation for a “kind” face, according to the Royal Society Biological Sciences journal.

Researchers in the United States tested 39 male undergraduate University of California students of different ethnicities for their testosterone levels and affinity with children.

The men were shown pairs of pictures - one depicting an adult and the other a baby - and asked which they preferred.Five demonstarted no interest in the baby images, while the rest showed a range of preferences. Some were exclusively drawn to the pictures of infants.

The scientists took photos of each man displaying a neutral expression which were then shown to 29 women students. The women rated the pictures on whether they thought the men liked children, or appeared masculine, physically attractive, or kind.

During my varsity days, a friend of a friend used to remark that I have "a very kind face". She waited for months for me to tackle her before sending me a message through her friend to my friend (confused yet?): "I can't wait for you forever. Someone else is interested in me. Ask me out now or lose me." I wasn't interested, so I let her go.

During my first few years at work, a few aunties remarked that I'll "make a great husband". One tried to matchmake me with her daughter, a snobbish UM graduate working for a Big Five accounting firm.

Argghh ... why can't I have a face that makes women tear off their clothes and throw themselves at me?

But all that is water under the bridge. Age, bitterness and abuses of various kinds (do I need to spell them out) have since left their mark on me. On my bad days, I looked like something that the dog dragged in. On my good days ... well, not so bad. Still leng chai. Just need to smile a bit more. Lose that angry look.

As for the part about women being attracted to men who like children, I like making babies. Does that count?

Man told to pay damages for failed suicide bid

2006-05-10T00:39:00.000+08:00

When I read the news, I tend to look for offbeat stories like this piece by Reuters:

BERLIN: A German man who unsuccessfully tried to kill himself by jumping in front of a train must pay compensation for the damage he caused, a court in the southern city of Munich ruled on Tuesday.

A spokesman for the court said the 47-year-old man leapt too late to land under the train and instead crashed through the side window of the driver’s cabin.

He suffered head wounds but no other lasting physical injuries, the court said.

The driver of the metro train suffered shock and was unable to work for several weeks.

For repairs to the train and lost wages for the driver, Munich municipal authorities sued for damages of some 4,200 euros. The court ordered the man to pay half the sum.

Poor dude. That's what I call rubbing salt into the wound. I recall reading somewhere (is it in Malaysia?) that a man was jailed for attempting to commit suicide. *shakes head*

I love marketing chicks

2006-05-08T23:49:00.000+08:00

I really have a thing for female marketing executives. They are well-dressed, well-spoken and usually look good. Some may rate only 6/10 in looks, but with proper make-up, stylish clothes and plenty of confidence, they look 8/10. I'm fortunate that the marketing GM in The Company has good taste. When recruiting talent, he tends to picks the sweet young things :) And boy, do they know how to flirt. I particularly adore a ditzy chick with big wide eyes and a bimboish way of speaking.

Properly trained marketing chicks also how how to deal with shit that superiors and clients deal out. Once, this lady caught a department head at a bad time and was shouted and screamed at. To her credit, she kept her cool and tried to calm him down. Many people would have broken down in tears or start shouting back. If I'm in her shoes, I would have walked out and vowed vengeance.

Another chick was screwed (verbally, not literally) today by some datuk. Five minutes after the screwing, she was joking "everyone likes to bully me one" without a tremor in her voice. Hats off to her.

However, I noticed that certain older women (and men) in senior marketing posts (not in my company) are not so nice. Maybe the years of abuse have taken their toll?

Anyway, e-mail me if you have stories to tell.

Rules for women during World Cup

2006-05-07T23:41:00.000+08:00

Extremely important advice and recommendations to be passed on to girlfriends, fiance, wives, mothers, sisters, daughters, etc (to all women in general) . These rules are to be communicated prior to the World Cup in June/July this year...

List Of Rules.
1. From June 9 to July 9, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).

3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect meto listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor... it wont happen.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces at my friends when they come over to watch the games.

6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so-called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce.

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during half-time but only when the commercials are on, and only if the half-time score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".

8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because: a) I will not go, b) I will not go, and c) I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house ona Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".

12. And finally, please save your expressions such as"Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, etc etc.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Regards,
Men of the World

Aiming for financial independence

2006-05-04T20:38:00.000+08:00

Up until last year, I thought I'll be a salaryman all my life. But recent events in The Company (which I might touch on in future posts) opened my eyes to the folly of working to benefit someone else. An employee will never be financially secure unless he makes it to the very top. To achieve that, he needs to be either 1. very good at what he does, be well-rounded AND fortunate or 2. an expert at kissing ass (heck, he needs to do a lot of ass-rimming, not just buttcheek-kissing)

I'm very good at what I do but I also have several notable weaknesses, chiefly my inability to suck up. So, no chance of climbing to the very top. Am I going to accept that life's not fair and retire poor, like most corporate drones? Not a chance.

Up to now, all my eggs are in one basket. I've been feverishly looking for additional baskets. For starters, I'll stay in my current job but will invest some of my FD savings in several small, minimum capital businesses. Why minimum capital? Most people fail in their first business, my partner is also inexperienced and I have limited risk tolerance.

The objective is modest - to have the businesses generate profits at least equal to my current paycheck.

Once that is is achieved, I'll buy a well-located property or two. Many people believe there'll be an economic downturn in the next few years, and there's profit to be made from motivated sellers.

Property is the traditional method of building wealth and it's a field that I have some basic knowledge of.

Anyway, those are my objectives in the short term. In the medium to long term, I hope to achieve financial independence through investments in capital guaranteed funds/real estate/businesses.

Finally, a piece of advice from a property guru I respect.

What I can say is, know your game, know what your limitations are, never be afraid of risks and whack the opportunities as hard as you can. Only when you do this, you will make money. If you don't, you will note that the climb up the ladder of success is as slow as can be, if any at all.

Mission: Impossible III review

2006-05-04T00:34:00.000+08:00

Just saw Mission: Impossible III ... It's a great action flick. It's just that in the original TV series:
1) It was a team effort, not an American James Bond rampage.
2) The team avoid bringing the heavy artillery in their missions
3) The team go in, do their job, get out ... without the baddies knowing what's going on. They certainly don't leave explosions or dead bodies behind.

Despite the bigger supporting team (compared to I and II) , this is a Tom Cruise vehicle ... no doubt about it. But Phillip Seymour Hoffman is good as the malevolently pudgy Owen Davian. Maggie Q is hot as Zen (but then, I think she's hawt in almost anything). Unfortunately, she doesn't flash her boobies - unlike in Manhattan Midnight - so don't bother getting the pirated DVDs.

If you are willing to suspend disbelief and shut down your brains for a while, I say this movie is worth spending your hard-earned moolah and precious time on.

Sekian, ladies and gentlemen. Gee, this is my first ever movie review.

Five rules of office politics

2006-05-03T00:25:00.000+08:00

Consult Fast Company's five-step manual for waging office politics. To paraphrase Plato, that well-known consultant, "Those who think they're too smart to engage in politics will be governed by those who are dumber".

Rule 1: Nobody wins unless everybody wins.

Rule 2: Don't just ask for opinions - change them.

Rule 3: Everyone expects to be paid back.

Rule 4: Success can create opposition.

Rule 5: Don't ignore the aftermath of success.

I find Rule 3 to be the most interesting.

So what is the most precious currency of organisational life? On this question, all the experts agree: personal relationships.

"All favours are personal," career coach Marilyn Moats Kennedy says. "If your boss works hard to get you an assignment, that's between you and your boss. You should understand that the boss is acting personally, not institutionally. Nothing done in the name of the organisation earns credit for the organisation. Only the individual who did the good deed earns the credit."

Management professor Cohen has a name for this phenomenon - the Law of Reciprocity. "The secret of the universe," he says, "lies in six words: Everyone expects to be paid back."

This is particularly relevant in the Asian context. I know I have done things out of personal loyalty to my immediate superiors (and yes, in the hope of some payback). Not for The Company, in which I am just one of many worker bees.

Office politics for goodie two shoes

2006-05-03T00:19:00.000+08:00

The Good Guy's (and Gal's) Guide to Office Politics by Fast Company is an enjoyable (albeit lengthy and technical) read.

Office politics. Just say the words, and you sense the disdain. Isn't "playing politics" a tool for people who can't get ahead on merit - who pursue their own agenda regardless of what's good for their colleagues or the company? That's the downside of office politics. But what about the upside? Office politics is a lot like "real" politics. Plenty of politicians launch campaigns simply because they relish the privileges of power. But at least some politicians campaign for things that matter to people other than themselves. Dismissing all political campaigns as cynical and self-aggrandizing becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. The same goes for office politics.

"When people talk about office politics, they usually mean something dirty or underhanded," says management professor Allan Cohen, dean of faculty at Babson College and coauthor of Influence Without Authority.

"But nobody exists in an atmosphere where everybody agrees. Politics is the art of trying to accomplish things within organisations."

Marilyn Moats Kennedy, a career coach based in Wilmette, Illinois, claims that the underlying logic of office politics is changing - and opening the door to campaigners who want to get things done rather than do other people in.

"Workers today," she says, "compete for schedules and projects, for money and training. But they rarely compete for power - especially when that means power over others. Instead of power, people want assignments that build skills valued by the market. Learning experiences are what's really important."

Herminia Ibarra, an associate professor at the Harvard Business School who teaches a popular course called Power and Influence, offers yet another perspective on office politics: You don't have to be a jerk to make things happen.
"Integrity," she says, "can be a source of power."

Argument with wife

2006-05-01T19:48:00.000+08:00

I checked my work e-mail from home this afternoon and was greeted by this message from a friend marked "urgent".

Had a quarrel with my wife over a tiny matter: What to name our cat.

Gist of the tussle: She wanted to name our cat "kuchi" but I wanted to name it "cheebye". As expected, she said no. But my side of the story was that she's been the one naming all our pets so far and I should have a chance at naming at least one of them. She has been allowed to do really weird things, but I'm not allowed to do the same.

I told her that it'd be really cool if our cat was named "cheebye" and listed several good reasons as to why it'd be really cool. If the cat hasn't got a bath in days we'd be able to say "wow, cheebye so smelly today". Or if the cat just got shaved we'd say "look at our shaved cheebye". Or when our friends come over we'd be able to say, "everybody, this is cheebye". Or when we can't find the cat, we'd say "I cannot find cheebye-leh". How cool is that?

Sadly, my wife didn't even want to let me finish and just said no and continued ranting like how moronic I was and that she married a bumbling fool, and that spiralled into an argument about me saying that she's been allowed to do really quirky things too.

My defence is that she's been given the freedom (by me) to do really weird things, and I'm being denied of the same right I gave her. And that she's been naming all of the pets we've had, and I'm only looking to name this one given that my suggestion of a cat named "cheebye" is such a cool and funny idea.What’s your opinion on this?

So I send the bugger a short message.

Me: Tell your wife 'cheebye' is the hokkien translation for 'pussy' cat. Why quarrel over a pussy?

Bugger: I've tried that. She said it's different.

Me: Please don't have any kids, I pity them. With your creativity, I wonder how you going to name them.

Note to self: I need to go out more. Get new friends. The current bunch can be weird.

Conversation between a guy and a girl

2006-05-01T19:19:00.000+08:00

Maintaining a relationship with a girlfriend (particularly a young one) is never easy.

Guy: Are you horny today?

Gal: No!

Guy: I'm coming over now.

Gal: No!

Guy: Just like the last time, I'm gonna bang the shit out of you.

Gal: No! You always do that! I hate it!

Guy: But if I'm too gentle, you complain I'm a wussy.

Gal: Why? Are you hard now?

Guy: Yes!

Gal: But I'm busy today.

Guy: Okay ...I'll call tomorrow then. Bye!

Gal: Wait! Do you have time to talk?

Guy: No.

Gal: But don't you love me?

Guy: I thought you said you're busy today.

Gal: Yes, I am, but I want to talk to you.

Guy: Well, let's meet for lunch and we can talk.

Gal: I thought you said you want to come over?

Guy: Yes.

Gal: And?

Guy: You said you're busy!

Gal: You don't want to meet me!You're finding excuses!

Guy: What excuse? Never mind! I'm coming right now!

Gal: Don't come! You have no heart to meet me! *sob*

Guy: *Signs* Okay, we talk tomorrow then. Bye.

Gal breaks into tears and keeps calling Guy to harass him every five minutes.

My two cents:
Men want sex, women want attention.
Women can be fickle-minded, men can be simple-minded

Capital guaranteed fund

2006-04-27T00:01:00.000+08:00

As I posted on Tuesday, I was disappointed that all the Amanah Saham Malaysia shares were sold out before I could get my hands on some. Because there was no quota on the number of units each person can buy, unlike previous years, a millionaire can easily buy up millions of shares at one go and leave us poor wage earners with nothing.

One could wait for the next time new funds are introduced (and start waiting outside banks at 3am) or one could look around for alternatives. Right now, I'm considering the ING AsiaPac Capital Guaranteed Fund, which was launched on April 10.

ING Funds Berhad, announced today the launch of the ING AsiaPac Capital Guaranteed Fund, the first capital guaranteed fund of its kind in Malaysia. The fund assures investors 100% return of capital after three (3) years, with diversified exposure to five selected Asia-Pacific equity market indices via the ING AsiaPac Index Option. It is ideal for local investors who are looking to participate directly in the Asia-Pacific markets and are prepared to stay invested for the three year period. At the end of the three years, the fund will return 100% of the invested capital plus any returns from the performance of the five selected regional equity market indices.

In layman speak, say you 'invest' RM20,000. For three years, you cannot take out the RM20,000. After three years, you get back the RM20,000 and maybe, just maybe, some extra cash.

According to a report by The Star, ING Funds Bhd is targeting 12% return.

Chief executive officer Steve Ong said the fund, which was the company's first regional fund, was directing its investments to South Korea, China, Japan, Australia and Taiwan as fund managers were upbeat about these countries' economic growth prospects.

“The company did back-testing for the basket of five selected equity market indices. For the past three years, the portfolios of these five markets have given an average return of 34%."

Needless to say, one must read and reread the fine print and consult independent experts before making any decision to invest.

ASM shares, bonk list and movies

2006-04-25T21:29:00.000+08:00

Amanah Saham Malaysia issued an additional one billion units on Monday, valued at RM1 each. The units were all snapped up within one hour and 45 minutes. I've been looking around for places to invest my hard-earned money, but I found out about the additional units too late. Damn. But on the bright side, I found out about another "guaranteed" investment scheme that has a history of even better returns. Will do more research before commenting further.

There are quite a few movies to look forward to this summer. Top on my list will be Mission: Impossible III, The Poseidon Adventure, and The Da Vinci Code. Miami Vice, Pirates of the Caribbean 2, X-Men: The Last Stand, Superman Returns and 9/11 movies United 93 and World Trade Center might be worth checking out if you have some free time and spare cash.

My five candidates for April's "to bonk list" will be:
1. Kate Beckinsale of Underworld and Pearl Harbour fame
2. Maggie Q, whose upcoming movie is M:I III
3. The notorious Singapore student Tammy
4. Miss Universe Jennifer Hawkins
5. That cute marketing lady (sorry, can't name names)

Singaporeans, "bad genes" and stupidity

2006-04-25T21:00:00.000+08:00

No, this is not a hate post. Veteran Singaporean journalist Seah Chiang Nee provided an insightful look at his countrymen in his column with The Star.

The average Singaporean is good at academic studies and works hard, but falls short on individual initiative and streetwise qualities, relying too much on the government for help.

Controversial Taiwan lawmaker Li Ao said: “Taiwanese are scoundrels, but lovable, Hong Kong people are craftier, (Chinese mainlanders are unfathomable) and Singaporeans are stupider.”

He said that it is partially due to genetics as the original migrants who came here from China were of “poor stock”.

Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew once told Chinese leader Deng Xiaoping that the ethnic Chinese in Singapore were descendants of illiterate coolies and farmers from southern Fujian.

This had made them less able than the people of Hong Kong or Taiwan, whose ancestors were mainly businessman or technocrats.

“If you ask me, other than Lee Kuan Yew, his son Hsien Loong, politicians aside, I can only think of a cute girl, (pop star) Stephanie Sun, there aren’t many other outstanding people. The impression that I get (of normal Singaporeans) is stupid," Li said.

Singapore’s system, Li said, stemmed from the ancient Chinese political philosophy of legalism, which emphasised on the rule of law.
"Singaporeans do not break rules, but they also do not stand out,” hesaid.

Li Ao is not alone in his views. Singaporean columnist Wong Lung Hsiang said it reflected what he heard in China that “Taiwanese are shameless, Hong Kongers are heartless, Singaporeans are ignorant”.

In Greater China, law-abiding Singaporeans have long been seen asgullible.

One writer however, said: “A better word to describe the Singaporean is naïve.”

Businessmen from Taiwan and Hong Kong are more alert to opportunities, as well as cheats, compared to even the capable Singaporeans, whose preoccupation is getting a high salary. They know where to take the short cuts when faced with a problem; Singaporeans will just sit and wait for better days.

What about Malaysian Chinese? I believe many of us are also "descendants of illiterate coolies and farmers from southern Fujian".

Pretty girls ruin rational thinking

2006-04-23T20:04:00.000+08:00

Catching sight of a pretty woman really is enough to throw a man's decision-making skills into disarray, according to a BBC report on a study by Belgian researchers.

Men about to play a financial game were shown images of sexy women or lingerie.

The Proceedings of the Royal Society B study found they were more likely to accept unfair offers than men not been exposed to the alluring images.

The suggestion is that the sexual cues distract the men's thoughts, preventing them from focusing on their task - particularly among those with high natural testosterone levels.

The men's testosterone levels were also tested - by comparing the length of the men's index finger compared to their ring finger.

If the ring finger is longer, it indicates a high testosterone level.

The researchers found that men in the study who had the highest levels performed worst in the test, and suggest that is because they are particularly sensitive to sexual images.

I've always stayed clear of pretty salesgirls when I need to make important financial decisions, coz my mind goes black when sweet young things are near me. Whether I'm shopping around for a RM1K handphone or enquiring about unit trusts at a bank, I prefer to talk to the uncles and aunties. That way, I know I'm thinking with my big head, not the little one. LOL.

Equating money with happiness

2006-04-20T19:10:00.000+08:00

"I am 27-year-old and self-employed. Earning RM6K per month, savings about 30K. Yet I do not feel satisfied with my life. Perhaps the correct word to use is that I am pretty fearful about my future. Do anyone feel the same way ?" Albert asked me and a couple other acquaintances while we were having duck rice at a restaurant in PJ State.

"What makes you fearful of your future? You have age on your side and hence can experiment with many different opportunities that life will present to you. You need to ask yourself what makes you happy? Are you one of those that equates money with happiness? If you are, then I can only say that you will be greatly disappointed in life as you get older as most people do not achieve this financial objective," said Chai, a consultant in his 40s.

"30K average in savings is considered very good and you are earning so much, bro. Many people will be envious of you," Joe added.

"I think despite your youth, you've already gotten to the stage where you're realising there's more to life than making lots of money. Whatever satisfaction money can buy is only temporary. After the novelty of a new toy has worn out, the emptiness sets in again," Chai observed.

"CB, earn so much still want to complain! People out there can't even earn to put food on the table. You are not fearful, you are plain greedy!" Siva shouted good-naturely.

As for me, I earn less than 6K. I'll worry about abstract stuff like "the meaning of life" and "money doesn't buy happiness" when I'm rich. Better to be rich and unhappy than poor and unhappy :)

The 100 unsexiest men in the world

2006-04-19T21:05:00.000+08:00

According to MSNBC, the Boston Phoenix website has compiled an unsexy list that included entertainers, sports stars, even terrorists. Those who made it to the list include Michael Jackson, Osama bin Laden (who is number eight) and Clay Aiken.

Of Aiken, the runner-up to Ruben Studdard on American Idol 2," the site snarks "he still looks like someone's bratty little brother".

Britney Spears' husband Kevin Federline ranks 99th, with the comment "Mooching hicks aren't so hot these days".

Sneaking in at number 100 is Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt? He made the list because of rumours about bad hygiene.

Girlfriend leaves for greener pastures

2006-04-19T20:29:00.000+08:00

A young friend of mine, Joe, was recently dumped by his girlfriend of five years. The reason? She has this lawyer and that doctor chasing after her and she does not want to sit in his Proton for rest of her life ….

So, me and a few other guys met him at a mamak stall to offer manly words of comfort.

Chong said: "Its normal for gals at this age (she's 23) - they started working, get hit on from all those better-off colleagues, compared to you who are just starting your career.

"My advice is: Forget about her. Concentrate on your career and soon you will have gals giving up their Proton-driving boyfriends and coming after you."

Albert said: "In Asia, a huge majority of woman puts status and money before love. Everyone wants to have a husband better than themselves.

"Quite a few women I came across associates having abalone and shark fin soup as being prestigious. This culture probably has its roots from Hong Kong TV series where it is incessantly reiterated that if you cannot afford shark fin, you are from the slums. But in actual fact, you'll find that no one else on Earth gives a damn about shark fin which tastes quite bland (hence the vinegar and soy sauce).

Chin has a story to tell: "I've got a friend, a lady who found out that her husband had a ceiling of about RM3-4k per month. She told her husband to do something about it, work part-time, upgrade or whatever.

"Remember that this young sweet girl was only 22 then, already married. She was only a bookkeeper then.

"Fast forward four years, from bookkeeper to qualified accountant, within a year of her becoming an accountant, she divorced her husband.

"Why? Her husband remain where he was three years ago, driving the same car, leading the same life. Every Wednesday and Saturday go pubbing with friends, holidays go to Penang.

"While her hubby did all those wasteful stuff, she stayed home studying for her degree.

"Of course he screwed her real good from virgin till vagina loose, since she was with him since she was 16 … but who is the loser?

"She is with another professional now and will probably lead a much better life than if she had stayed on with her ex-husband.

"If he had tried one small bit and upgraded himself, she would still be with him and probably have kids together.

"Some may say this is so typical of a materialistic modern girl, but, think about it, which girl wants a man who just rest on his laurels?

"Remember, that this girl DID NOT have an affair, she did not screw around, she brought leaflets, course materials for her husband, he just ignored all her good intentions.

"For us guys, it is important for us to know WHAT our girls want."

Just in case some readers think we are a bunch of MCPs, Siva has this to say: "One person's flaw doesn't mean all girls are like that. Don't stereotype! Its just you and your girl are probably not meant to be. No point forcing.

"Also, if your girl is materialistic it's too bad for her. You must see it as a blessing in disguise, old one don't go new one wont come!"

Do Malaysian girls dig foreigners?

2006-04-18T18:58:00.000+08:00

In some poor Third World countries, girls try to hook up with foreigners to escape poverty. But in Malaysia, it's usually the educated, westernised girls that go for foreigners. Heck, Malaysians generally treat foreigners better than their fellow citizens.

1. I played a little prank on a posh-sounding, foreign-educated local girl whose e-mail I got from a classifieds site. When I posed as a white guy, she was all eager to meet up for coffee, even though we have exchanged only two e-mails. When I posed as a local guy, she was "too busy" to exchange more than a single e-mail with me.

2. Try finding a place to park in Bangsar at night. The jaga kereta (parking attendants) sometimes shoo away locals in their Protons to make way for expats in their Beemers. And let's not talk about certain watering holes in the city where you are a third class citizen if you are a local guy.

3. A certain former Miss Malaysia and wannabe actress was not kind (to put it mildly) on Malaysian guys without "overseas experience" in her interview with a men's magazine last year. Overseas experience is good, but she seems to be implying that dudes who are not fortunate enough to live overseas lack character and are not good enough for her.

Singapore girls dig foreigners

2006-04-18T18:49:00.000+08:00

It seems Singapore girls are agog over foreign men. And it's not just ang moh or mat salleh (Caucasian) guys. The city-state's New Paper has several stories on the issue.

Story 1:
HER first boyfriend, a Singaporean, broke up with her because he didn't want her to be an actress.
She broke up with her second boyfriend, also a Singaporean, because he kept bugging her to introduce him to her other actress friends.
Subsequently, Cassandra See, 35, went on to date a Taiwanese, a Malaysian and an Australian before she married her German husband, Mr Christian Schuler, 39.
Local men, she concludes, are not quite her type.
The former actress said: "I think I'm just too loud for them. I do like local men, but I think they don't like girls like me.
''I'm independent, and as much as I love my man, I still want to have my own opinion on things. I'm a very liberal and happy person. I don't think many of them can accept that."
Story 2:
SORRY, guys. Joey Swee does not quite fancy you.
In her own words, she finds Singaporean men too shallow, too domineering and too boastful. "When the timing is right, they'll say, 'Let's go apply for a flat together!'," claimed the 29-year-old actress-compere.
It didn't help that Joey wanted a hong hong lie lie (Mandarin for grand and spectacular) romance.
So she settled for a (wealthy)foreigner - Indonesian-Chinese Gani Bustan, 41.
The couple were introduced in 2003 by Joey's girlfriend, who had married Mr Gani's best pal.

Not surprisingly, the articles has raises hackles among Singaporean guys. One fellow said: "I think it's not Singapore men having problems. It is Singapore women obsessed with foreign men. Case in point, u guys go on MIRC and pretend u are from overseas. Observe the different response from the Singapore chicks."

Another said: "It is money that separates a great lover from a loser. Not culture, values, humour or love. All that is just an excuse to justify the covert materialistic desire …"

Sex or money, the lust is the same

2006-04-17T21:19:00.000+08:00

Bloomberg has this interesting article on the link between lust for sex and money.

Late at night, in a basement laboratory at Stanford University, Brian Knutson made a startling discovery: Our brains lust after money, just like they crave sex.

It was May 2004, and Knutson, a professor of neuroscience and psychology at the California university, was sending student volunteers through a high-power imaging machine called an fMRI.

Deep inside each subject's head, electrical currents danced through a bundle of neurons about the size and shape of a peanut. Blood was rushing to the brain's pleasure center as students executed mock stock and bond trades. On Knutson's screen, this region of the brain, the core of human desire, flashed canary yellow.

The pleasure of orgasm, the high from cocaine, the rush of buying Google Inc. at US$450 a share - the same neural network governs all three, Knutson, 38, concluded. What's more, our primal pleasure circuits can, and often do, override our seat of reason, the brain's frontal cortex, the professor says. In other words, stocks, like sex, sometimes drive us crazy.

Friends are for suckers

2006-04-17T00:38:00.000+08:00

Chuck Klosterman says only losers and failures need friends. You don't need a friend and you don't need a lover. What you need are a pair of well-chosen foes.

Life is—almost without exception—an absolute meritocracy, and everyone who succeeds completely deserves it. The only people who disagree with this are people who will never succeed at anything. You see, "they" want you to believe the passageway to power is all about cultivating allies, so they spend all their time trying to make friends and influence people. And this is why they fail. It rarely matters who is on your side; what matters is who is against you.

What you need is one nemesis and one archenemy. These are the two most important characters in the life of any successful human. We measure ourselves against our nemeses, and we long to destroy our archenemies. Nemeses and archenemies are the catalysts for everything.

Now, I know that you're probably asking yourself, How do I know the difference between my nemesis and my archenemy? Here is the short answer: You kind of like your nemesis, despite the fact that you despise him. If your nemesis invited you out for cocktails, you would accept the offer. If he died, you would attend his funeral and—privately—you might shed a tear over his passing.

But you would never have drinks with your archenemy, unless you were attempting to spike his gin with hemlock. If you were to perish, your archenemy would dance on your grave, and then he'd burn down your house and molest your children. You hate your archenemy so much that you try to keep your hatred secret, because you don't want your archenemy to have the satisfaction of being hated.

A nemesis and an archenemy ... is there a difference? Lots. Just ask a female friend! Or ask Gina about Lai Ma :)

Every woman I've ever known has had at least one close friend whose only purpose in life is to criticize her actions, compete for the attention of men, and drive her insane; very often, this is a woman's best friend. Every woman also has a former friend (usually someone from high school with large breasts) whom she has loathed for years - and whom she will continue to loath with the intensity of a thousand suns, even if she sees her only once every ten years. This is her archenemy.

Spot your nemesis :
•At some point in the past, this person was possibly your best friend.
•If invited, you would go to this person's wedding and give him a spice rack, but you would secretly hope that his marriage ends in a bitter, public divorce.
•People who barely know both of you assume you are close friends; people who know both of you intimately suspect that you profoundly dislike each other.
•If your archenemy tried to kill you, this person would attempt to stop him.

Know your archenemy:
•Every time you talk to this person, you lie.
•If you meet someone who has the same first name as this person, you immediately like that person less.
•The satisfaction you feel from your own success pales in comparison to the despair you feel at this person's triumphs, even if those triumphs are completely unrelated to your life.
•Even if this person's girlfriend was a hateful bitch, you would sleep with her out of spite.

Hello world!

2006-04-03T21:08:00.000+08:00

This blog is about the three great obsessions of my life: Money, Career and Girls. I'm a restless salaryman who is thinking of starting a small business. To that end, I've hunting for a potential partner (and meeting a cast of colourful characters in the process!) while doing lots of research. As I begin a new chapter of my life, I'll like to share my experiences with whoever stumbles on this humble online diary of mine.